Author: Bitterballenbruid

Stupid shit I’ve said in Dutch

When you’re learning a new language, you’re going to make mistakes and get laughed at.

The sooner you accept this fact, stop giving a fuck and just do it anyway – the better. Good luck!

So without further ado, here’s some of the stupid shit I’ve said in Dutch…

Photo credit:


1. “Ik ben bang voor de moe!” 

“I’m afraid of the tired.” Koe… I meant koe!! (Cow).


2. “Ik heb mijn benen uit.”

“I have my legs out.” (E.g. – I have removed my prosthetic legs…)

I was supposed to say: “Ik heb blote benen.” (I have bare legs.)

3. “Ondernemer. So she’s an undertaker, right?”

The literal translation ‘onder’ is under and ‘nemer’ is taker. But it actually means entrepreneur. Ooooops.

And since my Dutch is practically flawless 💁‍♀️ (IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU’LL BELIEVE ANYTHING!) I’ve had to request the help of my Facebook followers to bulk this baby out a bit. 3 bullet points does not a blog post make, am-I-right?


4.  “Up yours!” via Rob van H. on Facebook

“Well not so much in Dutch but in an effort to speak Dunglish I said ‘Up yours’ (op jou = to you) when raising my glass. Good thing the British people at the pub at the time knew me already…”

5. “Just going for a poo!” via Fleur D. on Facebook

“We had planned an evening shopping trip to get lots of things for a pending holiday: My husband said across a full office in his best Dutch: ‘Fijne avond, ik ga een grote boodschap doen’ which to a Dutchie translates as: ‘Have a nice evening, I’m going for a big poo’.”

6. Speaking of poo… via Beth G. on Facebook

“I’ve made the mistake of shouting in a game ‘Ik wil niet scheiten’, instead of ‘Ik wil niet schieten’. Big difference!”

7. “I’m horny, horny, horny horny…” via Haylee G. on Facebook

“When I was learning basic Dutch with a lovely little old lady when I first arrived, she asked me to write the word for yellow… I wrote down ‘geil’ 😂.”

8. “One sec, just gotta pay the whore…” via Bianca F. on Facebook

“One of my non-Dutch speaking friends once announced: ‘Ik moet de hoer betalen’. He obviously meant ‘huur’ = rent, rather than ‘prostitute’.

9. “I’ll have a portion of chicken fuckers please.” via Ginger R. on Facebook

“Mijn vroegere buurvrouw bestelde ‘kippeneukers’ bij de McDonalds in plaats van kipnuggets (chicken fuckers, she said chicken fuckers). Hilarisch 😂🤣”

10. “I’m going to let my husband die tomorrow…” via Jolanda V. on Facebook

“Mijn Engelse buurvrouw: ‘Mijn man is zo moe, ik laat hem vanmorgen lekker inslapen 😊.” (Uitslapen = sleep in. Inslapen = fall asleep, forever.)

11. Flirting gone wrong… via Sophie B. on Facebook

“A few years ago, I ended a flirty text with ‘dooie’!! xxx’ 😜 (Dooie = dead!)

12. “My pussy is missing…” via Bryony S. on Facebook

“Mijn puss is vermist. Not strictly incorrect but rife for misunderstandings! (My cat turned up in the end…)”

Got any new ones for me? We’re all friends here… and we won’t laugh… promise 😉

Hayley x



10 great things about being an expat in the Netherlands

Mokumboot Amsterdam

Us expats get a bit of a bad rep for whining about Holland. I’m not entirely sure why.

I mean, yeah, from time to time we all like to complain about something… Am I right? Sometimes they do X, Y, Z better at home… or you miss this, or that’s not so great about NL… but overall it’s a bloody brilliant place to live. Hence why I’ve been doing just that for the past 5+ years!

So today I’m celebrating the Netherlands. Let’s talk about why this little Clogland we call home is so great and all the positive things about living here!


1. Everyone speaks English – a blessing (and sometimes a curse).

2. Good things come in small packages – it’s a small enough country to explore easily.

3. The work-life balance in Holland is – let’s face it – bloody brilliant.

4. It’s smack bam in the middle of Europe. Road trips, cheap flights… endless.

5. Pub snacks are on another level in the Netherlands. Believe! 

6. The expat community is truly awesome. *Gag.*  But it’s true. 

7. Cycling (and exercise in general). It’s a great place to keep active and fit! 

8. International companies and job potential. Enough said. 

9. Public transport. The trains are cheap and almost always on time. 😉

10. Amsterdam is one of the best cities in Europe. Utrecht isn’t bad either.


Your turn. What’s your favourite thing about being an expat in the Netherlands? 

Hayley x 



Dutch people are rude, right?

Dutch kissing

In a word, no. Dutch people aren’t rude, they’re direct – there’s a difference. 

And the difference is – other cultures perceive the Dutch to be rude. But here’s the thing: it isn’t intentional (most of the time anyway 🤣🤣). 

As a young, English child, my parents were quite strict and brought me up with a strong focus on manners. “Mind your manners”, “good manners cost nothing” and “mind your P’s and Q’s” were commonplace in my household. It was drilled into me from a young age that I must be polite at all times. 

“What’s the magic word?” was often fired back if I had forgotten that polite little word at the end of my request. If I was in a sassy mood I would reply “Abracadabra” which was met with sniggers from my parents, but obviously I wouldn’t get a Bourbon biscuit or custard cream until I’d said please. 

Fast forward to the present, I don’t eat at biscuits anymore. So instead I go into an English pub and I say brightly “Hello, can I have a white wine and a bag of scampi fries please”. When said drink, and king of (English) pub snacks are delivered – I graciously deliver my my most polite “thank you”, nod and smile. (Side note: if you have been to England and not ordered scampi fries you are SERIOUSLY missing out!) 

Cut to Dutch kroeg (pub). The Dutchie walks in: “Heb je voor mij een biertje?” (Literally: Do you have a beer for me?) 

Dundundun… and here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just how you order a beer in Holland.

Another example, at the dinner table I might ask “can someone pass the pepper please?”. 

The Dutchie would say “mag ik de peper?” (Literally: may I have the pepper?) and in Dutch culture, that’s polite enough.

I’ve talked about directness before on my blog so I don’t think I have to hammer the point home anymore. But I have one thing to ask: next time you think a Dutch person is being rude, first question yourself and your perception of the situation rather than generalising “oh, Dutch people are rude”… pretty please 😉😉

There is of course, one EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE: Dutchies living in England.

Dan moet ik tegen jullie zeggen: je moet je P’s en Q’s leren. En als je weet niet wat dat is… you are soooooooo not inbuggered. Learn about our culture, please. It’s only polite 😉

Hayley x 



How to get from Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok (BBK) to Koh Chang Island – with detailed information and photos – July 2019

Before travelling to Koh Chang in July 2019, I did A LOT of research about the easiest/cheapest way to get there and I opted for the minibus option. While there is information available online on how to do this, a lot of it is conflicting or simply outdated. 

This is the most detailed information you’re going to find online as of July 2019, I promise!! I’m your woman on the ground, I’ve been there, done it – and taken photos! 😉 

How to get a minibus from Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok (BBK) to Koh Chang island:

To book your ticket, go to the ‘Suvarnabhumi Burapha’ bus counter on level 1 of the airport, it’s next to exit 8 and looks like this:

Suvarnabhumi Burapha bus counter

Suvarnabhumi Burapha’ bus counter

The buses run from Suvarnabhumi airport to Koh Chang at 7.50am, 11am and 2pm.

(I don’t know what time the ticket counter is open, I went there at around 7pm and it was closed, so I assume it’s open 7am-2pm or something like that.)

Suvarnabhumi Burapha bus – times from the airport to Koh Chang

Sorry about the grubby picture 🤣 this is actually what the counter looks like! 🤣

Many websites I found said that you could book online in advance at but that wasn’t the case for me. I looked a couple of weeks in advance and also the day before but I wasn’t able to pre-book from Suvarnabhumi airport. So I turned up in person about an hour and a half before the bus was due to depart. (I got the 2pm bus.) 

The price I paid was 900 baht return! 👌🏻 (Or 600 baht one way.) As the sign says, the prices are set/fixed by the government.

Some online sources quote that the price is 1,050 return but as you’ll see from this photo of the counter itself, this simply isn’t true.

Koh Chang map

(Sorry – another grubby picture taken from their counter 🤣) It’s hard to read, but the last stop is Kai Bae Beach – which on this map is the Siam Bay Resort. If you’re going to Lonely Beach (as I was) you will need to pay the driver an extra 50 baht when you reach Koh Chang.

If you have time to kill at the airport:

If you’re peckish, and have time to spare, there’s a ‘Street Food Market’ a few metres from the ticket counter.

Considering it’s airport food; 45 baht for pork, rice noodles, morning glory and gravy is very reasonable! And mango sticky rice was 55 baht 🙂

Not your usual airport food

The minibus and ferry journey to Koh Chang:

You’ll need to be back at the counter 15 mins before your departure time. We left at 2pm sharp and arrived at the ferry port in Trat at 6.30pm. (This will obviously vary depending on traffic conditions.) 

The bus is air-conditioned and we had 2 x 10 minute stops along the way to use the toilet/buy snacks. 

Luckily for us, upon arrival at the ferry terminal there was a ferry with one space left! So we drove straight on and left almost immediately! I’m told that there can be up to an hour wait for the ferries to fill up… 

Once aboard, the ferry takes 20ish mins and I was treated to these views: 

Koh Chang ferry

There’s not much else to do on board, so take in the views and enjoy the short crossing! 🙂 (There is a mini shop on the ferry but it was closed when I was there, not sure if that was to do with the time of day or the fact that it was low season though 🤷‍♀️)

I was at my hotel by 8pm (Lonely Beach) but it depends where on Koh Chang you’re staying. You can expect anywhere between 15 mins – 1 hour depending on how far south your hotel is! 

Koh Chang sunset, taken from the ferry

I hope this information helps with planning your trip to Koh Chang island! But as always, if you have any questions, please leave a comment below 🙂


Hayley x

Information and prices correct as of July 2019



The Malta Diaries: Week 7

Hey, happy Monday! 

No, I didn’t forget… 😉 I’m going to round up my Malta diaries with the last two posts, even though I’m at home in the Netherlands now. 

Popeye Village / Anchor Bay, Mellieha, Malta

Honestly, it’s been a lot more work creating these posts than I expected (if you’re a blogger you will know how much time goes into each post!) so whilst I’m in SE Asia I think I’m going to switch to monthly posts. 

I’m also going to skip really quickly through Monday – Thursday as it was a pretty meh / boring start to the week and I don’t want to write about it, nor do you want to read it… the fun stuff starts on FriYAY! 😀

(Yes, I actually just did that. Deal with it 🤣) 


Monday (Day 43)

It was a bit too hot to do anything. I talked about this last week, but in a nutshell, there was a heatwave in Malta (as I now understand, the rest of Europe too!). Basically, someone decided it was summer, flipped a switch and it literally went from about 20-25 degrees to 30-35 degrees overnight. Oh and the buses went from €1.50 to €2 overnight too. So it’s officially summer in Malta!   

Without a airco or a fan the only way I could cool down was to have a cold shower! (My host promised me a fan asap… 🤞)

So Monday consisted of running some errands, shopping, a quick drink at Becky’s cafe, and a walk to Top of the World for sunset.


Tuesday (Day 44)

Still no fan. Worked. Blogged. Applied for some Workaway positions. Sent postcards to the family. Shopping.

Prosecco and pizza for dinner because it was a bit of a shit day. 


Wednesday (Day 45)

Work. Accepted a Workaway position for July (my first choice 🎉 yay)! Nap. Arm workout. Walk. Got a fan!!

Naughty Muchu 🤣

Worked @ Sea Salt in the evening – tuna for dinner mmmmmm.


Thursday (Day 46)

Worked 10am-1pm AND 5pm – midnight (my hosts had a party). So not much time for fun stuff. Booked some internal flights and hotels for our SE Asia trip.

Maltese Platter – these guys know how to lay on a good spread!!

Walk. Shopping. Always bloody food shopping.



Friday (Day 47)

Friday was the coolest day this week… 28 degrees! This I can totally deal with! So as soon as I finished work I hopped on a bus in the direction of Mellieha, not having any fixed plans. 

On the way, I decided to visit Popeye Village, as I hadn’t been there yet this trip and it’s an awesome place to be. It didn’t disappoint! I took some pictures and walked down to Anchor Bay where I sunbathed for 15 mins before I got bored. Haha. 

Popeye Village / Anchor Bay, Mellieha, Malta

Popeye Village / Anchor Bay, Mellieha, Malta

Anchor Bay, Mellieha, Malta

Next, I headed to Noah’s Ark Dog Sanctuary, somewhere I’d been meaning to go for the previous 6 weeks, but it’s only open 8.30am – 11.30am every day and that’s always when I’m working for my Workaway hosts, so no can do. Thankfully the lovely people who run their Instagram account gave me the manager’s number, so while I was in the area I sent him a WhatsApp and he happened to be there and said I could ‘pop’ in. 

Noahs Ark Dog Sanctuary, Mellieha, Malta

I ended up being there for about 2 hours and Richard gave me a personal guided tour, introducing me to all of the dogs! ❤ If you’re in Malta, love animals and have some spare time in the mornings… please do visit! They’re doing a brilliant job but extra help is always appreciated!

I wasn’t ready to go home yet, so I went to Paradise Bay which is about a 5 min walk from the animal shelter. They had gluten and lactose free ice cream so I was over the moon! 

Paradise Bay ❤

Best day in Malta so far 👌🏻


Saturday (Day 48)

Another uneventful day, I was looking after the dogs whilst my hosts were away.

However in the evening I went for dinner at my friend G’s house in Sliema (no her name isn’t actually G, it’s just the first letter of her name!) She makes amazing macrame jewellery so I bought a bracelet and ordered a choker which she would custom-make for me. If you want to check out her stuff, her FB page is: IndieG

Cute house in Sliema


Sunday (Day 49)

Researching Malaysia trip. Went to Sliema. Worked at Sea Salt in the evening 🙂 

Hayley x


Week 7 stats: 

Photos taken: 85

Distance covered on foot: 75 km

Steps: 120k

NEW Destinations visited: Anchor Bay, Noah’s Ark Dog Sanctuary

Lowlights: Boring/hot start to the week! 😅

Things I have learned about Malta this week:  

  • The beer brand Cisk is celebrating 90 years this year!
  • It’s fucking hot



My favourite reasonably-priced bars and restaurants in Langkawi

After Penang, Langkawi was a bit of a shock food-wise. The food was more expensive, less delicious and lacking the quality we’d experienced in Penang. We didn’t realise it at the time, but in Penang we were well and truly spoilt! The best Laksa we’d ever tasted for RM 5 (approx €1), Lok Lok on the street for RM 1 per stick, crispy roasted pork on tap… Penang truly is food heaven. But I digress, this post isn’t about Penang – it’s about finding cheap yet good quality food and drinks in Langkawi! We stayed for 11 days and believe me, we had to kiss a fair few frogs to find our prince(s).

A quick note on alcohol in Langkawi: The island has been duty-free since 1987 so it’s the cheapest place for booze in Malaysia. If you drink beer, you’re going to be able to get drunk, very cheaply. Lucky you! Wine is harder to come by (a lot of restaurants simply don’t serve it) and good wine is almost impossible to come by if you’re on a budget, so lower your expectations and you’ll be grand.

So here you go, I’ve taken the hassle away for you! Here are all the best places in Pentai Cenang and Pentai Tengah to get a decent meal and drinks without breaking the bank!



Cactus Restaurant

It was so good we ate here 3 times! Everything is reasonably priced, delicious and they have cheap beer and white wine for RM 10 (approx €2.50).

Category: cheap | Pantai Tengah | Cactus Restaurant on Trip Advisor


Palm View Seafood Restaurant

Lots of good Chinese options. Cheap beer and wine is RM 9 per glass, cheapest I found on the island.

Palm View Seafood Restaurant

Category: cheap | Pantai Cenang | Palm View profile on Google


Keladi Cafe

Cute little roadside place near The Kasbah. Friendly owner. Super-cheap and cheerful. No booze!

Category: cheap | Pantai Cenang | Keladi Cafe profile on Google


Rasta Bar

Mixed bag. When they were playing reggae it had a really good atmosphere but a couple of times we walked past and they were playing shitty Ibiza music, so we just kept walking!! They don’t have toilets so you have to use the toilet at Thirstday Bar and Restaurant (which I don’t recommend as it’s crazily overpriced.)

Category: cheap-moderate | Pantai Cenang | No website


One Love Reggae Bar & Cafe

Another place promising to be a Reggae bar but when we were there they weren’t playing reggae… anyhoo, cheap and cheerful and I love their mural.

One Love Bar, Langkawi

Category: cheap-moderate | Pantai Cenang | One Love on Trip Advisor


Lepak Bistro and Bar

The friendliest owner ever! (In fact, many people on Trip Advisor go as far to say it’s the friendliest bar on Langkawi!) The long-haired DJ / owner went up to every customer, asked them what kind of music they like and then played a song for them! Amazing touch ❤ And the drinks are cheap… what more could you ask for?

Category: cheap | Pantai Tengah | Lepak Bistro on Trip Advisor



Hidden Langkawi Restaurant

My favourite place in Langkawi, just a shame that it’s a tad expensive – but in this case you absolutely get what you pay for!

Hidden Langkawi Restaurant

Hidden Langkawi

Hidden Langkawi

Hidden Langkawi

Category: moderate | Pantai Tengah | Hidden Langkawi restaurant on Trip Advisor


The Kasbah

Not the cheapest place but I really like the setting. A bit off the beaten track which means it’s the perfect place for a bit of peace and quiet.

The Kasbah, Langkawi

Category: moderate | Pantai Cenang | The Kasbah website


Pasar Gelap

This unassuming little place directly on the beach sells pints of wine for RM 15 (see photo! I’m not kidding!) and they have fire shows! Definitely worth checking out!! TIP: Don’t order the nachos, they’re terrible and a total waste of money!

Pasar Gelap

Pasar Gelap

Category: moderate | Pantai Cenang | Pasar Galap profile on Google


Red Tomato

We didn’t eat here (as it’s mostly over-priced Western food) but they have glasses of prosecco for RM 15 so I’m sold!

Category: moderate | Pantai Cenang | Red Tomato website


Fat Cupid – Cafe & Restaurant

Upmarket, Malaysian cuisine. Friendly staff (it’s owned and operated by three cousins according to the internet…) I probably wouldn’t got back as I don’t need my food served in ramekins… but it’s nice to go once!

Fat Cupid

Category: moderate | Pantai Tengah | Fat Cupid website



Bon Ton

I’ve thrown one expensive place in here, because why not eh? We didn’t pay to eat here, we got a 3 course meal for free as we were volunteering at Langkawi LASSie… but it was damnnnn good!!  The white wine was the best I had on the island and the food was beautifully presented on banana leaves which was a special touch! The views from Bon Ton restaurant are simply stunning and if you get there before sunset you will be treated to not only a magnificent sunset but also a “stork show”. Every evening a group of storks circle around the lake when the sun goes down, it’s one of the best ‘nature moments’ I’ve ever had and somethingI will never forget! Special thanks to Linda for the tip! If you meet her please do say hi from me, she’s awesome!! ❤️

Bon Ton

Restaurant @ Bon Ton

Have you ever been to Langkawi? Have I missed any hidden gems?

Hayley x


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The Malta Diaries: Week 6

Holy shit / guacamole!! (Depending on if you’re a person who swears or not…) I am the former, obviously!!!!

I cannot believe I am 3/4 into my trip already. You know that feeling when a trip has gone ridiculously quickly, but then at the same time the the first day feels like a lifetime ago? I’m totally having that feeling right now, I’m so settled here, it actually feels normal to be living in paradise, whereas the first day I was like WTF?!?!??! How is this where I am staying for the next 2 months?!?

Time is strange isn’t it? And speaking of, I’ll stop wittering on, wasting your time and get down to business!


Monday (Day 36):

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I don’t dread Mondays anymore! And it’s such a wonderful feeling!!

I don’t take many selfies… but when I do…

On Monday I was tired, on my period (sorry guys – TMI) and completely off my antidepressants but soooooo happy!

I feel like every blogger and their dog are talking about mental health issues at the moment, and while that’s great – it’s not what this post is about. So in quick summary: I was officially diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) back in September – even though I know I’ve had it for years and years – on the same day as my accident, actually.

I went on antidepressants for the first time in my life (personally, I think they’re bullshit, but a number of my close friends and family take them and swear by them, so each to their own I guess). I also went to a psychologist and she was terribly shit. So while I understand that what I’m doing now is a band-aid… it’s a pretty damn good one. I know when I eventually go back to the Netherlands I’m going to have to deal with the SAD stuff again, but for now, Malta, Asia and a career break are calling! 😀

Anyway, back to Monday – I didn’t do much except book the Dutchie’s flights to Asia!!! Whoop whoop!! And work x 2.


Tuesday (Day 37):

I don’t need to go into much detail about dead duck day, as I already wrote a post about it when I was still reeling. But let’s just say it was the worst day I’ve had since I’ve been here, and the first time I’ve cried in months. Highs and lows eh?

(Since Tuesday, in addition to the 2 dead ducks, I’ve also had to deal with a dead baby bird, 2 lizards and a mouse head. No idea where the body went!! So I have decided that the 2 cats here are basically dicks.)

Sliema sunset

Thankfully I had plans to go out with my new friend on Tuesday night for drinks, so I was able to talk to someone about it face to face and have a cocktail to commiserate. I also went for a lovely walk along Sliema/St Julian’s promenade and caught the sunset 🙂 🙂

Except the vegan part…

Cat statue, Sliema, Malta


Wednesday (Day 38):

Wednesday was a lazy day, I just walked to Top of the World and along Naxxar ridge, to Naxxar Gap. In the evening I had to ‘babysit’ for my hosts’ children (they’re 9 and 13 years old) and so I spent the evening writing (yes, there are more posts coming soon!).

Top of the World, Gharghur


Thursday (Day 39): 

You know those days when the day just totally gets away from you? That’s what happened on Thursday. I had big plans to start work at 9am, finish at 12 then go for brunch and then either visit Zabbar or the 3 cities… 

It actually went a bit more like this: I was babysitting until midnight the previous evening, so I started work at 10.30 am until 1.30pm, I then put the week 5 blog post live, I Skyped my family and then had my ‘brunch’ at around 3.30-4pm… so it was actually more like drunch!! 

I then got on a bus towards Valletta but it was so crowded and we were stuck in heavy traffic so I jumped off the bus in Birkikara (not literally) and started to walk instead.

Somehow, all of a sudden, it was 6.30 pm, I was nowhere near Valletta (where I had to go to get my connecting bus) so I had to make the executive decision to abandon my plan!! And I’m so glad I did. Instead I walked along the promenade past Msida, Ta’ Xbiex and Gzira.

I also went to Manoel Island for the first time – it’s a bit abandoned apart from the yacht club and the fort is currently closed… BUT the views of Valletta from across the water are awesome – and without the crowds of Sliema! It’s a lovely place to go if you want peace and quiet!!

View of Valletta from Manoel Island


Friday (Day 40):

YAY!!! I finally visited 2 new destinations on Friday: Zabbar and Marsaskala 🙂

Umbrella Street, Zabbar, Malta

I couldn’t find much information online about Umbrella Street, much less the exact location, so here it is: Triq il-Kbira 🙂

Quick Maltese lesson: triq = road/street

Found it!!!! Umbrella Street, Zabbar, Malta

Due to the lack of information available online, I’ll probably do a brief, separate post about Umbrella Street 🙂 But in a nutshell: it’s lovely and well worth the trip if you’re in the area 🙂

There wasn’t much else to do in Zabbar, so I hopped back on the bus to Marsaskala, a small seaside town in South-East Malta. I walked the entire length of the promenade and around the coast to St Thomas Bay. Beautiful!!!

St Thomas Bay, Malta

A couple of previous Workawayers had recommended a bar in St Thomas’ called Zion Reggae Bar so I went to check it out, but unfortunately I was left extremely disappointed. There’s no view as it’s set back from the road, the loos are portaloos (!!) and I paid €5 for the worst Pina Colada I have ever tasted 😦 Jammer! (Damn!)


Saturday (Day 41): 

Over the weekend there was a heatwave, so it was about 33-34 degrees, Asia-stylie except that I don’t have air-co!!

I also had to work (x 2) and look after the dogs so a bit of a nothing day. Just going to the shop was a mission in itself 😅

However, silver linings and all that. Here I present to you the perks of working at a gourmet fish & chip shop:


(Pieces missing because I started eating and then suddenly remembered to take a photo! Doh!)


Sunday (Day 42): 

On Sunday I looked after the dogs again, I did some writing (I’m currently up to 35 draft blog posts! Eeek!) did a workout (seeing as it’s too hot outside at the moment to keep up with my 20k+ steps per day!!) and then I went to The Point in Sliema. I had decided that I didn’t bring enough short sleeve / vest tops with me so I wanted to rectify that. Instead I bought a bikini, a black dress and a yellow jumpsuit!!!! Hahahaha. Oops. Anyone else do this??

Cute house in Sliema

I then jumped on the ferry to Valletta for free (I couldn’t find anyone to pay!) and had a poke about there for an hour or so because the temperatures are a bit cooler late afternoon/evening…

View from Sliema – Valletta ferry


Only 2 and a bit weeks to go!!! Eeeeeeekk!!

Hayley x


Week 6 stats: 

Photos taken: 98

Distance covered on foot: 83 km

Steps: 128k

NEW Destinations visited: Manoel Island, Zabbar and Masaskala

Lowlights: it begins with dead and ends with ducks.

Things I have learned about Malta this week:  

  • Buses have the registration number BUS followed by their bus number! Simple, eh?
  • Fresh fruit and vegetables are really bloody expensive here 🙃
  • Bigilla is one of the best dips known to (wo)man
  • Health and safety: not really a thing here…



The Malta Diaries: Week 5

Week 5 is going to be short and sweet, just like my Mum, haha 😉

I worked at a festival called Earth Garden for 4 days, so my exploring was put on hold temporarily…


Monday (Day 29):

On Monday morning the Dutchie left super-early (like 5.30am) so I saw him off in his taxi and then went back to bed. After my shift, I was still knackered so I took a nap and then had a bit of a lazy day – still managed to do 22k steps though, so not *that* lazy. 

Bono being his usual cheeky self 😉


Tuesday (Day 30):

After work I decided to go to Mdina and Rabat. I’ve been to Mdina before, but I missed the famous Insta-door so that required a return visit, and seeing as Rabat is right next door it would be silly not to 🙂

The Insta-famous door in Mdina

If you haven’t been to Mdina, I recommend a visit, combined with Rabat (as it’s really not a whole day thing). You can probably spend 2-3 hours in Mdina and you’re done. 

Make sure you visit Fontanella Tea Gardens the views are spectacular! 😀

Fontanella Tea Gardens

Onto Rabat… it’s pretty, but I didn’t really stay very long. I just had a wander around and took lots of pictures of #maltadoors! 

Malta doors

Malta doors


Wednesday (Day 31):

Due to my lack of exploring the previous week, I really wanted to visit some new destinations, so I headed to Mgarr.

Mgarr Parish Church

Mgarr Parish Church

If you ever find yourself in Mgarr, there’s a cute cafe/restaurant right opposite the church called Il-Barri – the drinks are so cheap! I guess because it’s off the tourist track…

Mgarr Parish Church

My original plan was to walk from Mgarr to Gnejna Bay and then along the coast to Għajn Tuffieħa Bay and Golden Bay. 

The walk to Gnejna Bay was all downhill, thankfully, and I remember smugly thinking to myself “thank god I don’t have to walk back up this hill” – especially as I’d seen a couple of girls coming the opposite way sweating their lady-balls off! 

Well guess what… I couldn’t get around the coast because it was all boggy and I couldn’t find a (safe) way through… so I did have to walk back up that fucking hill!! 

That’ll teach me. 

Luckily, Gnejna Bay was worth the trip!! Bloody gorgeous! 😀

Gnejna bay, Mgarr

I had a Slush Puppie too, literally haven’t had one of these bad boys in years! It was so refreshing after my walk 🙂 AND I learned a very valuable life lesson. You don’t have to pick red or blue. You can mix them!!!! How am I 36 years old and I’ve only just found this out???


Thursday – Sunday (Days 32 – 35):

Over the weekend I worked at Earth Garden – it’s a really cool, alternative festival… I’d actually really like to go next year if I can… but then not work obviously 😉

They have a strict environmental policy, which I love, and the vibe is really laid back. 

Earth Garden
Sexy people don’t litter @ Earth Garden


Week 5 stats: 

Photos taken: 83

Distance covered on foot: 81 km

Steps: 127k

NEW Destinations visited: Rabat, Mgarr, Gnejna, Ta Qali (where Earth Garden is held) 

Lowlights: an 11 hour shift at Earth Garden following my normal 3 hour Workaway shift 😱 

Things I have learned about Malta this week:  

  • Taking a wild guess here, but I reckon ‘mela’ is the most commonly used word in the Maltese language. It’s like a filler word and can mean a variety of things: so, so then, well then, of course, sure… and much more. People use it allllllllllll the time! Almost like a tick…
  • Personal space isn’t really a thing here. I mean I’m used to it a bit because I live in Holland. Small country syndrome perhaps? The person in the checkout queue behind you is likely to brush up against you – multiple times – and not apologise or think anything of it… and no this isn’t just men being pervy. I’ve had women do it to me too. Argh… as an English person, invading our personal space is about one of the worst things you can do!

Things I have learned about life this week:

  • You don’t have to pick red OR blue when ordering a Slush Puppie!! You can ask them to layer it!! *Mind blown*

Shit, I can’t believe I’m already more than halfway through my trip already! Crazy!

Have I persuaded you to visit Malta yet??

Hayley x



Where to get delicious Dutch food in Malta

Bitterballen @ Salumeria, Valletta

Is it in Malta or on Malta? (Because it’s an island.) Who knows? But fuck it, it’s my blog so I’m sticking with in!

Being the bitterballen connoisseur that I am, I’m always on high alert if I spot bitterballen or kroketten or croquettes (or whatever they want to call them) in any other country! Same goes for Dutch food in general and it just so happens I ran into some awesome Dutch snacks in Malta which I’ll share with you now…

Graag gedaan, hoor! 😁

1. Bitterballen at Salumeria

I went to Salumeria by complete fluke. I had no idea they sold bitterballen! I’d walked past the bar before and made a note of it because it had a sign outside saying “Our beer is as cold as your ex’s heart” 😂😂

So we sat down, got the menu and there was a Dutch sharing platter on the menu!! GET IN!!!! (Turns out the owner is half Dutch!)

So if you’re looking for bitterballen in Malta, this is your place! They’re excellent bitterballen too! Served with real Dutch mustard. Just be sure to avoid the frikandellen!! Ewwwwww.

2. Stroopwafels – Strü

I don’t eat stroopwafels myself, but these look daaaaamn good and they have reviews to match! The food truck moves around daily, so be sure to check their Facebook page for their current location!

Stroopwafel truck, Malta

3. Belgian fries 

Ok, so not technically Dutch but we’re all friends here, eh? I ran into The Belgian Fry food truck whilst exploring Sliema and I can highly recommend!  They were delicious 🙂 I went for good old ‘frites met mayo’, but they have all the sauces you’d expect from a Dutch/Belgian snack shop.

This truck also moves around, so be sure to check their website or Facebook page for their current location.

The Belgian Fry, Sliema

Belgian fries in Sliema

Cheap as chips too! 😉 Perfect for Dutchies 😉😉 (*Runs and hides…*)

Eet smakelijk!! 

Hayley x

Dead Duck Day

You know that scene from ‘About A Boy’ (awesome film btw) where Marcus kills a duck? And then that day is forever referred to as dead duck day?

Well for me, today is double dead duck day.

I wish I was joking.

I woke up this morning and started my normal Workaway routine… first of all I feed the sheep and chickens and then the ducks. But immediately I knew something was off. Every day, the bloody sheep, Gem, goes crazy when I come with the food. She tries to grab it out of my hands with her teeth and makes loads of noise. She has the loudest baaaaaaaaaaaaa I’ve ever heard! Today, she just sat there and didn’t move. Very fucking weird.

So then I go to feed the ducks. Where the hell are they? I scan around and there are feathers on the lawn. Oh shit…

One is sat at the side of the pond, very badly injured, the other I find later, in the generator room where the cats have dragged it and left it half eaten.

Horrific. Fucking horrific.

The ducks have escaped a few times before. Last week in fact, but I found the hole in the fence, secured it and got them back in safely. (Basically by throwing a towel over them and gently lifting them back into their pen.)

Today I wrapped them in a towel for the last time.

I could’ve let someone else do it, but I’ve been looking after them for the past 5 weeks. So I felt like it should be me.

Yes, I cried. I’m actually crying now as I write this.

I feel really silly because they’re ‘just’ ducks, but I have become attached to all of the animals here.

So yeah. Today totally fucking sucked. My Workaway experience has been absolutely amazing so far, but I want to share the lows as well as the highs.

We need more truth online amongst all the fakery. So here you go.

There’s not really a good way to wrap this up except to say that I’m VERY glad I have drinks organised with a friend later. I’m going to need a glass of wine, or 5.

Hayley x