If you have lived in the Netherlands for a certain amount of time, you may find yourself exhibiting some strange new habits. Be warned: You are becoming Dutch! Here are some signs to watch out for:
1. Air raid sirens. At midday on the first Monday of the month, you no longer jump out of your skin when the emergency alarms are tested.
2. Chocolate for breakfast. Chocolate sprinkles on bread, with butter is an acceptable (and preferred) breakfast option!!
3. Advanced cycling. You are able to ride your bike whilst doing one or more of the following: texting on your phone, rolling a cigarette, holding an umbrella, carrying 23 bags of shopping, a case of beer, an item larger than yourself, 3 children.
4. Pro cycling. You are also perfectly capable of cycling whilst stoned, inebriated, or both.
5. Windmills. There are no excited yelps or screams in the car when passing a windmill.
6. Calcium-rich lunch. You consider bread, cheese and a glass of milk a satisfying and well-balanced lunch.
7. Oranjegekte. You not only love the colour orange, you possess a box dedicated to orange clothing and accessories, used once a year in April and during major sporting events.
8. Net curtains. You don’t own them.
9. The Guttural Dutch G. You can confidently pronounce Gefeliciteerd without it hurting your throat or spraying people with saliva.
10. Birthday parties. It’s your male friend’s birthday. You congratulate his partner, son, daughter, his mother and father, plus his brothers and sisters. Oh, and his neighbour.
11. Doe normaal! You have unintentionally uttered one or more of the following phrases: Doe normaal! Ja, hoor! Het was gezellig! Helaas Pindakaas! Wat jammer! Wat een kutweer!!!
12. Lekker. When eating something delicious, you wave frantically at your own face.
13. Love for camping. When asked about your holiday plans, “I’m going to a camping” (note the countable noun) is the most commonly adopted answer.
14. Stamppot. For dinner, you are particularly fond of lumpy mashed potato, mashed vegetables and a U-shaped boiled sausage.
15. Pepernoten. In December, you enjoy having nuts thrown at you.
How Dutch are you? Anything else to add to the list?