These 10 words may induce giggling and guffawing for English speakers, but in fact, they have completely different (and very innocent) meanings in Dutch.
It’s not you, it’s us… 😉
Simply meaning ‘cook’ or ‘chef’. This is quite a popular surname in The Netherlands, much like the English surname ‘Cook’.
On a recent thread, Dubble Dutch commented: “And what do you think about the name of our former minister-president Wim Kok. I think he had to explain his last name every time he introduced himself abroad.”
Dik means ‘fat’ (or thick/heavy/dense etc). Some people are even (un)lucky enough to be called Dik Kok! (Or the spelling variation Dick Kok.) *Childish snigger*…
3. Fok / Fokken
Sooooo many Dutch people have told me this story – in various permutations – it’s almost a Dutch urban legend! If you live in Holland and haven’t heard it yet, where have you been hiding? It goes a little something like this…
John F. Kennedy met Joseph Luns, the former Dutch Minister of Foreign Affairs. Kennedy asked for his hobbies and he answered: “I fok horses”. Kennedy, struck with surprise responded: “Pardon?”, Luns replied: “Yes, paarden!”.
Fokken means ‘to breed’, and paarden means ‘horses’ in Dutch.
If a Dutch person offers you a shag, don’t get your hopes up… they’re just offering you a rollie! (English slang for a cigarette you roll yourself.) Shag means ‘tobacco’. 🙂
5. Kunt / Kant
Sounds like something very familiar (and VERY rude) in English … right?
Je kunt (You can)
Kunt u? (Can you? formal)
Ledikant (meaning ‘crib’)
and my personal favourite Kies mijn kant!! (Choose my side).
A room full of slags? Wonderful! Except that it simply means ‘whipped cream’ in Dutch.
Amusing in a slightly different way. The Dutch have a very Dutch way of saying hoegaarden – if an English person tries to pronounce it, they’ll most likely say ‘ho-garden’. (Ho being slang for prostitute…)
A garden full of hoes and a room full of slags!? What more could you want!
My schoonmoeder’s name appeals to the juvenile side of my sense of humour. Willy is often used as a short name for Wilhelmina in the Netherlands.
Prikbord rather innocently means ‘pin board’ in Dutch. And if you ask for a drink zonder prik you mean ‘without bubbles’.
Yes, I’ve mentioned this before on the blog… but this list wouldn’t be complete without it!!
If you spend any amount of time in Holland, you can expect people to call you a whore (to your face): “Ja, hoor!” “Nee, hoor!” “Momentje, hoor!”
But it’s not rude at all… it literally means ‘hear’ but when paired with Ja (yes) it means something like “Yeah, sure!” to emphasize agreement.
With Nee (no) it can mean a number of things depending on the context… some examples are: “No way” “No, that’s not right” or “No, thanks”.
It can be also used to make things sound more friendly, so “Momentje, hoor!” is expressing politeness like “Wait a moment, please.”
Which other rude sounding Dutch words make you giggle like a school child?